


8etter Ways t0 Die

by WorstGirlEva



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, Horrible Gender Suffering, Misgendering, Suicidal Thoughts, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, suicidal idealization, trans girl vriska
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2020-10-14 06:20:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20596115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WorstGirlEva/pseuds/WorstGirlEva
Summary: VRISKA: Everyone knows FLARP is a game for girls.VRISKA: And when we say that, we mean that it's extremely 8rutal and hardcore.VRISKA: I see no reason for anyone to think “a game for girls” would mean anything else.VRISKA: 8oys just aren’t fit for FLARPing.VRISKA: So tha's why i need to pretend to 8e a girl.ORVriska will do anything so she can be taken seriously on FLARP.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> INTERNALIZED TRANSPHOBIA AND MISGENDERING CW

GC: VR1SK4  
GC: WH4T  
AG: Ugh, Terezi please don’t make me explain this for the 8th time.  
AG: It’s such a simple concept.  
AG: Even the most pathetic wriggler could understand!  
AG: I don’t understand why you are making such a fuss a8out this.  
AG: You see:  
AG: Everyone knows FLARP is a game for girls.  
AG: And when we say that, we mean that it's extremely 8rutal and hardcore.  
AG: I see no reason for anyone to think “a game for girls” would mean anything else.  
AG: 8ut anyway.  
AG: 8oys just aren’t fit for FLARPing.  
AG: That is an universal truth.  
GC: VR1SK4 1 DONT UND3RST4ND  
GC: YOU 4R3 4 8OY 4ND YOU DO JUST F1N3 ON FL4RP  
AG: 8ut no one takes me seriously!  
AG: They keep going easy on me  
AG: Just 8ecause i'm a 8oy  
AG: It’s like I’m stuck on easy mode!  
AG: No one respects people who play easy mode!  
AG: I want to play with the 8ig 8oys! or the 8ig girls, ugh.  
AG: I want the glory of hard more FLARPing.  
AG: And if I want them to take me seriously.  
AG: I need to pretend to 8e a girl  
GC: VR1SK4  
GC: WH4T

Uuuuuuuugh.

This is so frustrating for you.

Your name is VRISKA SERKET and oh boy, do you love FLARPing! The only problem is that boys just don’t have the levels of intensity and brutality for this level of roleplaying. Not you of course, you are the most brutal FLARPer there is and no Boy-Skylark would even dare to challenge you!

but others don’t quite agree with you. They don’t see your greatness. They keep putting you with the other boys in lesser league or whatever. Seriously! They keep telling you over and over how you aren’t fit for this, you aren’t a girl, you can’t play. they keep underestimating you and going easy on you and you are SICK OF IT.

Of course, the only natural course of action is to roleplay as a girl and, of course, you will be dead if the find out, not in a cool roleplay way, but in a much less theatrical way. Gender faking is a crime under the Condesce’s tyranny. Long live her name.

That is why you gotta do this right. Nobody can find out.

You look at the shopping bags full of your latest purchases: cerulean lipstick, “Shine your proud blood color for everyone! Lowbloods can die I guess.”, cerulean eyeliner, “Sharp enough to *literally* kill a man.”, and a long wig made made from hoofbeast hair, dyed the darkest black.

You look at it with terror and awe. It’s like the shopping bags could kill you, it’s like they would just draw a gun and kill you. Or give you life. Is there a difference?

This is so wrong Vriska, what are you even doing, says your inner voice, you haven’t been hearing him much lately, Vriska what are they going to think! Vriska serket, executed for gender faking? We both know you can die in so much better ways than this! At least be a martyr or a scourge to the empire or something! Anything! Just don’t die a gender faker.

Well!!!!!!!! That’s why we are doing this right and not getting caught!

...

AG: Anyway Pyrope, I need your help on makeup.  
AG: I already have my 8est man on the jo8 for fixing my Marquise costume.  
AG: Just some little changes to fit my 8ody 8etter and 8ring my curves out.

Your curves? Hahahahahahahaha. Don’t lie to yourself Vriska, you have no curves. You are the definition of a stick! Look up the dictionary for stick, there is a picture of you there. The first time Terezi saw you she was deeply concerned for your health.

But well, lowblood girls that don’t have proper food don’t have much curves either. Besides you’re five! What creepy asshole would expect for a five sweeps old girl to have curves? Don’t answer that.

GC: FUCK, YOU 4R3 R34LLY GO1NG ON 1N TH1S HM?  
AG: Yeah Pyrope, you know me.  
AG: Why would I joke a8out this.  
AG: Why would I explain to you this extremely simple concept 8 times and risk my life 8y stepping in troll claire’s to 8uy this fucking stuff.  
AG: I’m joining the 8ig girls league and I’m gonna 8e the most 8rutal FLARPer that you respects.  
GC: YOU KNOW YOU C4N D13 R1GHT?  
AG: Yes!  
AG: Pyrope, for the the last time! I know how dangerous this is.  
AG: And I know how worried you are, so please help me out.  
AG: If you don’t want me to die then help me make this convincing!  
AG: C’mon here already.  
GC: UGH, 1 C4N’T B3L13V3 1’M GONN4 B3 PL4Y1NG M4K3UP W1TH VR1SK4  
GC: 1 B3FR13ND3D YOU 3X4CTLY B3C4US3 1 THOUGHT 1 WOULDN’T H4V3 TO D34L W1TH TH4T BULLSH1T L1K3 TH3 OTH3R G1RLS K33P DO1NG 4LL TH3 T1M3  
GC: 4NYW4Y.  
GC: OMW.

…

TEREZI: UGH, VR1SK4 ST4ND ST1LL!  
VRISKA: Then st8p poking my ey8s!  
TEREZI: D1D YOU S3R1OUSLY N3V3R DON3 M4K3UP B3FOR3? TH1S 1S NORM4L, YOU GOTT4 POK3 YOUR 3Y3, 1TS P4RT OF WOM4NHOOD!  
VRISKA: Ugh I don’t c8re a8out womanhood, th8t sounds like 8ullshit, I just want people to think I’m a g8rl!  
TEREZI: TH4TS SUP3R CRU3L OF YOU?  
VRISKA: You say wom8nhood is 8ullshit all the time!  
TEREZI: W3LL, 1TS D1F3R3NT! 1 4CTU4LLY H4V3 TO L1V3 1T!  
VRISKA: Dum8 gender stuff. I f8cking hate this.  
TEREZI: OK SHUT UP, 1M DON3

Terezi grabs a mirror for you to look at the results. Fuck your heart is beating so fast you can’t even open your eyes.

TEREZI: YOU N33D YOUR 3Y3S OP3N TO S33 1T YOU SP1D3R 1D1OT  
VRISKA: I’m nervous…  
TEREZI: OF WH4T!?  
TEREZI: 1T’S JUST DUMB P41NT ON YOUR F4C3  
TEREZI: OP3N YOUR 3Y3S 4LR34DY 1 C4N’T ST4ND H3R3 4LL D4Y  
VRISKA: Ugh, here it goes.

Slowly, light bathes your eyes as you look into your own reflection.

…

You are paralyzed for a moment. You expected more. No, this isn’t right.

VRISKA: Pyrope, give me the wig!  
TEREZI: UGH H3R3’S YOUR DUMB W1G

You put it on. And adjust it. And adjust it again. What’s the best angle? Is this lightning good? Maybe you should hide your face more.

You are.

Disappointed.

VRISKA: Pyrope, th8s is horri8le! I look like a cl8wn!  
VRISKA: And y8u know that imp8rsonating a p8rple 8lood is a much higher cr8me than to fake g8nd8r.  
VRISKA: Do you want to dou8le kill me?  
TEREZI: YOU’R3 W3LCOM3!  
TEREZI: YOU KNOW TH4T 1 H4V3 N3V3R DON3 M4K3UP B3FOR3 R1GHT?  
TEREZI: 1’M 4S BL1ND 1N TH1S 4S YOU 4R3 ON TH1S  
TEREZI: UNL1K3 4LL TH3 OTH3R TROLL G1RLS, 1 DON’T C4R3 4BOUT H4V1NG MY F4C3 FULL OF P41NT WH1L3 1 F1GHT FOR MY L1F3  
TEREZI: M4K3UP 1S BULLSH1T 4ND 1 H4T3 1T  
VRISKA: Ugh, if you aren’t going to help me, then leave! may8e Maryam can help me with it. he also loves gender faking.  
TEREZI: 1T’S SH3  
TEREZI: SH3 GO3S BY SH3/H3R PRONOUNS 4ND YOU KNOW TH4T V3RY W3LL  
TEREZI: 4ND SH3 1SNT “G3ND3R F4K1NG”, SH3’S TR4NS 4ND YOU SHOULD R3SP3CT TH4T  
VRISKA: Well may8e he’s so good at it he even fooled himself!!!!!!!!  
TEREZI: VR1SK4!  


Terezi’s voice isn’t just a shout. You are used to shout at each other all the time. This is much louder, you fucked up.

The panic sends you jumping out of your chair, hands hastily trying to fix the wig that came undone. Why do you even care about this stupid thing? It barely looks any good.

TEREZI: LOOK, 1 DON’T C4R3 YOUR W31RD QU3ST FOR G3ND3R F4K1NG OR WH4T3V3R YOU C4LL 1T  
TEREZI: 1 DON’T C4R3 HOW MUCH YOU W4NT TO L1V3 1N “H4RD MOD3” BY PR3T3ND1NG YOU 4R3 4 G1RL  
TEREZI: DO YOU 3V3N L1ST3N TO YOURS3LF?  
TEREZI: BUT K4N4Y4 H4S 4N 4CTU4L PROBL3M, 4ND YOU H4V3 TO R3SP3CT H3R  
TEREZI: UNL1K3 YOU WHO JUST M4D3 ON3 UP B3C4US3  
TEREZI: B3C4US3 TH1NGS 4R3 TOO 34SY FOR YOU?  
TEREZI: VR1SK4, YOU 4R3 UNB3L13V4BL3  
TEREZI: TOMORROW W3 H4V3 FL4RP, SHOW UP HOW3V3R YOU W4NT  
TEREZI: JUST DON’T D13, OK? YOU 1D1OT

Just like that, she grabs her stuff and leave.

You look to the mirror again. It’s almost sunrise and your FLARPing session is at the start of the night. You can either go to sleep or spend the whole day practising your makeup.

You look at it more. The lipstick is not proper and the eyeliner is dull and not sharp at all.

But it looks good? or rather, it looks that it could look good.

Terezi told she never had practise, so maybe if you had some more you could make it better?

You check your phone. Kanaya just got online.

He is some kind of weirdo that stays awake during the day and there is… that!

Trans? What nonsense is that.

But still, he could give you some honest advice on makeup.

Ugh, you don’t need that type of drama in your life. You’d rather just spend the day awake until you learn how to do it right.

It’s gonna be a long sleepless day.

Gooday Vriska.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This first chapter is rather short and mostly an introduction. A prologue if you. The next one will introduce the rest of the cast and main themes. (aravris real)


	2. Chapter 2

MINDFANG: And this is how you can you can speedrun getting a noo8 to fall in love with you and kill them afterwards.  
VRISKA: This is so cool.  
VRISKA: Can you teach me how to die in the most epic way possi8le next?  
VRISKA: So I’m remem8ered 8y future generations?  
VRISKA: And girls all around the galaxy will follow in my footsteps?  
MINDFANG: We can leave that for another day, youngling.  
MINDFANG: For now let’s keep working on making 8oys fall in love you with you to flex on the other girls.  
VRISKA: Oh, a8solutely!  
VRISKA: I can’t 8elieve this is really happening.  
MINDFANG: I can’t either!  
MINDFANG: In fact, it’s not.  
MINDFANG: You are dreaming, you idiot.  
MINDFANG: You failed at staying up all day.  
MINDFANG: VR1SK4  
MINDFANG: VR1SK4 W4K3 UP 4LR34DY

Uuuuuuuugh.

Ok, you’re up. Let’s take a look at the situation.

Your phone is screaming at you, literally. It’s a feature in Alternia how you can get someone’s phone to scream at them even if they set it to silent. Terezi’s messages ring in your sleep deprived ears. The time is… late, very late. To your left you see that your stat bat is already there. Fuck, the game already started. Lastly you see your face in the reflection of your phone and…

You look like shit.

You really can’t believe you spend the whole day training your make-up. “The biggest trick is to always carry a nice silver blade to make your eyeliner ‘literally’ sharp as fuck!” still echoes in your head after watching make-up tutorial after make-up tutorial.

Vriska what the fuck did you do! This is terrible. Where’s your silver dagger, where’s your wig, oh still on your head. Where’s your make-up, where’s your mindfang costume. WHERE’S YOUR DICE, WHERE WAS YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA.

GC: H34DS UP PR3TTY G1RL, 1TS B4TTL3 ROY4L3 N1GHT  
GC: YOU KNOW TH3 B4S1CS, ON3 HUNDR3D T34MS, ONLY ON3 W1NS  
GC: W3 D1D TH1S 4 THOUS4ND T1M3S B3FOR3  
GC: 3V3N THO YOU W3R3 1N B3TT3R SH4P3 1N TH3M

You rehearse the basic rules of FLARP in your head one more time so you don’t have a mental br8down.

Teams come in twos. A player and a clouder. Imagine the player as like a tabletop… player and the clouder as the dungeon master.

You’re on player duty today. Which means that for some reason you get some gross bug laying gross eggs which will somehow be important to the game. You have the stat bat, which basically show you a lot of useless information you don’t care about.

Speaking of useless information it’s telling you some right now! Some lowbloods are near and coming to invade your house. (You have a perk that shows the blood color of other players. Terezi told you it was a waste of Skill Points.)

It’s not only legal to invade a player’s house and kill them in FLARP, but it’s advisable. Yes, even for clouder players that are supposed to stay inside. These will usually set up some traps.

Ok, let’s kill some noo8s 8efore 8reakfast you thought.

Or should you say you are gonna have some noo8s for 8reakfast?

Ugh, you are way too tired to think of a good one liner.

VRISKA: Troll Alexa show me the cameras.

…

This house was rather fancy. This group of low bloods thought themselves rather lucky to find a highblood player screwing around like this. Easy kill, grab the loot and go to the next objective.

Yes, this game was based on 100 teams of 2. But usually lowbloods would team up for better chances. “We will stick together and let nothing tear us apart!” was the most used lie among teams. Backstabbing was very, very common.

So much backstabbing.

For now though they were together and they would let nothing tear them apart.

For the next few hours at least.

A sound comes from downstairs. Finally this dumb highblood made a mistake and let their position be known. The lowbloods rush down the long circular stairs. No highblood in sight yet, but they were gonna find them.

The stair dragged on and on. Did this highblood really live like this? They must have some amazing loot down here.

At the base of the stairwell they found a small, pesky d4, instead.

And a giant spider lusus.

VRISKA: I can’t 8elieve you are having 8reakfast 8efore me.  
VRISKA: Anyway.  
VRISKA: Here’s some fresh meat, Spidermom.

The lowbloods try to run, but they aren’t sure what is scarier, you or your lusus. Spidermom bites down on them. Rust blood splashes on your clothes.

Dear mother gives you a look of “You look like shit, but thanks for the meal”.

And fuck do you look like shit. Make-up stains. Half wearing your mindfang costume (Who could tell that making it tighter would make it so much harder to wear?). Your wig is falling in your eyes and the newfound blood stains. People would think you are some kind of vengeful spirit and not a kid playing FLARP if it wasn’t for your stat bat.

VRISKA: Thanks mom.  
VRISKA: I’m gonna pass 8y troll 8urger King and get you something else on the way 8ack.

AG: Terezi, I can’t go out, I’m looking like shit.  
GC: VR1SK4 HOW C4N YOU TRY TO LOOK PR3TT13R 4ND 3ND UP LOOK1NG WORS3?  
AG: Look, I’m just not good at 8eing a girl.  
AG: You were right.  
AG: This is stupid.  
AG: I should just quit.  
GC: UGH, STOP TH4T VR1SK4  
GC: 1F YOU W4NT TO L34RN ON3 TH1NG 4BOUT B31NG 4 G1RL 1S TH4T  
GC: SOM3T1M3S YOU 4R3 JUST 4LLOW3D TO GO OUT LOOK1NG L1K3 SH1T  
GC: B3S1D3S YOU DON’T N33D TO LOOK PR3TTY TO GO OUT TH3R3 4ND K1LL SOM3 1D1OTS  
GC: G3T YOUR D1C3 4ND GO OUT TH3R3 YOU 1D1OT

Uuuuuuuugh.

Terezi was right, as always. Taking time to dress up would destroy your high scores.

Fluorite Octet, some d4s and a bunch of exploding dice are your equipment.

As a Gamblignant, your flarping class, pretty much all of your skills involve bullshit luck and all your weapons are dice. It’s risky and most trolls don’t play it. But fuck if it isn’t sexy as hell.

Most trolls that dare to play as Gamblignants don’t start with a legendary weapon like the Fluorite Octet though.

Ugh. Great now you can’t stop thinking about your time with Eridan. It was on one of your adventures that you found it. The dice, the cue ball, and of course the diary.

Ah, the diary of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang. You couldn’t stop reading it over and over again. She was so great and good and amazing and she had the most amazing death.

You chuckle at remembering how Terezi blocked you after you wouldn’t stop talking to her about it.

Eventually you realized: You had to be her. So you trashed your old FLARP character and made a whole new one after her.

You were Mindfang. The legendary gamblignant, and no one could stop you.

Terezi found it funny when you said you were playing a girl. It’s ironic now isn’t it?

It’s not ironic that there are a bunch of FLARP generated monsters outside and there is lipstick on your teeth though.

You had walked quite far from your house. Going on the direction of the biggest objective you could find.

You never go for the small fish. Go big or die are the words you live by. But you can’t avoid these bitches.

Ugh, here we go you guess.

The monsters rush towards you and try to bite your neck. It misses.

The Octet is kinda of the strawberry on top of the cake. It’s your signature attack after all and you don’t want it getting old. So instead you drop a few d4s on the ground. These are just regular dice. But they are really pointy.

With your 20 dex, evading and getting close to the enemy is not hard. Left claw, right fang. You can avoid this with your eyes closed.

Your mind wanders, calculating the probabilities. The roll of 2d6 has a total of 36 possible results. You avoid the bite and jump over its tail. These monsters are very predictable. The number with the biggest chance to roll is the 7, with 6 possible combinations. The lowest ones are 2 and 12, having only one for each. You punch it right in the nose and stun it. And you can’t roll a total of 1 with two dice, silly.

It steps on your d4 and falls to the ground. Being a gamblignant has a lot of bullshit involved, but long story short attacking this poor, stunned bastard with a die stuck on it’s foot counts as advantage.

Building advantage has become second nature for you at this point.

Same as running basic dice probabilities in your mind while you fight.

Yes, you live like this.

Gracefully you send 2d6 on its direction and get take distance with fast stepping. You wonder if you looked cool while doing that. Then you wonder why do you care about that? No one is looking.

It’s a total of 5 with an advantage of 3. It does the job.

It’s a shame none of the two were 6s. Why? That’s foreshadowing. We don’t want to ruin the surprise, even if you already know.

You mind wanders as you wave dash to the all-legendaries loot box at the end of the rainbow.

You haven’t actually met any trolls while looking like this, sans those kids, but they are dead now and the dead can’t give you feedback on passing. So you really wonder. Are you dashing in a pretty way? Does it look cool? Does it look sexy? Are you living for it?

Insecurity clouds your mind and you barely notices the lowblood to your right.

This pathetic Boy-Skylark in his pathetic outfit is terrified of you. You wouldn't even have noticed him if he didn’t screamed. Do you like being feared? Is this result you wanted from this? You are not sure, so it’s time to experiment.

So you take a deep breath.

And scream on top of your lungs.

VRISKA: I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU.

You smile behind your wig half covering your face. Only the eight folded eye visible, surrounded by messy make-up, just like your smile.

You feel powerful. This feels good. Is this how womanhood feels? You love this.

The kid falls to the ground and screams. His flight of fight mode just jammed and he is about to cry.

You throw a single exploding d4. You don’t care about the result, you just want him to run and tell his friends about how powerful you are.

Of course you turn your back to it. Cool gals don’t look at explosions.

You should though. The result was a 4 and when an exploding die rolls its maximum result it rolls another die.

The final result is a 13. It’s absurd to get that with a single d4. It’s bullshit. But being a Gamblignant is just surrounding yourself with bullshit.

The explosion throws you to the ground and you take some damage.

Yes, damage. Ugh, Health Points is another bullshit thing this game has. The important thing is that you don’t have much of that. Glass Cannon build and all.

Fuck. You have to get out of here before that wimpy boy sees you sees you took damage and tries to attack you.

There is a house about 300 feet forward (Your stats bat tells you that value). You can take refuge there and heal.

The house is very small. You see there is a clouder inside. Probably some poor lowblood kid.

Easy kill, you think to yourself.

No ceremonies, you go straight to their room.

But when you enter their room, you see a girl…

With short hair...

A hard jawline...

Bigger chin...

Pointy nose...

Broad shoulders...

Flat chest...

She is just like you.

She is gender faking too.

Too bad you just spend about a minute staring at her and now her trap caught you. A net raises you in the air and you are stuck.

??????: well well well  
??????: what d0 we have here?  
??????: i knew highbl00ds had m0ney f0r brains  
??????: but staring at y0ur enemy like that?  
??????: please d0n’t tell me y0u just fell in l0ve with me 0r s0mething  
??????: hey tavr0s, i caught the highbl00d that attacked y0u  
??????: ugh dude st0p, she isnt that scary

Did she just called you she????????

Why is your chest so hot at hearing that?

??????: anyway, she is t0tes a g0ner, i’m g0nna take kill her and get the epic l00ts  
??????: bye dude

She ends the call and looks at you… She looks at you with what you don’t dare to call desire, she eyes you up and down with her hand on her chin and a mischievous smile.

You have never been so scared of someone this low on the hemospectrum, there isn’t even lower in the hemospectrum then her.

In practise you could kill her a snap of your fingers, but here?

She could snap her fingers and you would just kill yourself. Save her the trouble and make so your body doesn’t stain her carpet.

??????: p00r little spider fell 0ff her web  
??????: what sh0uld i even d0 with y0u?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow i wonder who that is.
> 
> BIG shutouts to my gf for all the proofreading she did. Love you phoebe <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vriska meets the mysterious lowblood trans girl that you already know who she is. Shenanigans and cloud switch happens.

It took you awhile to realize you could just use your mind control powers to make that girl release you and kill herself. Using IRL powers is technically illegal like all other illegal things are in Alternia, it’s ok as long you’re not caught.

Like a man using telekinesis to move a slice of pizza to his mouth you concentrate.

This is weird, she must be denser than you thought, maybe if you just concentrate harder and-

UUUUUUUUGH.

Nothing.

VRISKA: It’s not working!  
VRISKA: What did you do to me.  
VRISKA: Did you gave me mind poison so i couldn’t mind control you?

She looks at you pensive for a moment, confused and perplexed. Until finally she laughs.

??????: maybe im just t00 g00d t0 be mind contr0lled.  
VRISKA: It works on all low8loods.  
??????: rip t0 them but im different  
VRISKA: This is wrong.  
VRISKA: There should 8e no question on whether it would work on someone as low as you.  
VRISKA: I’m gonna ask you again.  
VRISKA: What. Did. You. Do.  
??????: i d0nt think you know me

She takes a step back, moves her skirt left and right, raises her head, moves her arm, until she stops.

??????: y0u kn0w what  
??????: im n0t g0nna d0 the musical piece where i intr0duce myself  
ARADIA: im aradia megid0  
ARADIA: and like i said  
ARADIA: im just t00 g00d  
VRISKA: Hu8ris will 8e your downfall, 8itch.  
ARADIA: 0h y0u kn0w i w0nt have that privilege  
ARADIA: as a l0wbl00d i will pr0bably have an uneventful death bef0re i have the chance t0 be exiled  
ARADIA: epic deaths are m0re f0r the likes of y0u

The other lowblood on the Boy-Skylark costume gets here. Apparently his name is Tavros? Well you don’t care so you choose to ignore everything he says and focus on Aradia.

She is smiling while chatting with him. She is happy and excited for this game. Most players you see are scared and nervous most the time. But she is just so calm and genuinely happy.

You guess she was right when she said she was just that good.

Plus something something lowblood nihilism about the fact they just don’t live all that long anyway?

It’s kinda sad when you think about it…

It’s sad to think someone so cool will just die like that and leave no legacy behind.

It’s unfair.

Unfortunately it looks like you were thinking too loud and she heard you.

ARADIA: awn  
ARADIA: is this highbl00d guilty i see?  
ARADIA: im s0rry but i have n0 time t0 be sad and grieve my 0wn death  
ARADIA: id rather enj0y the little i have

Tavros says something along the line of how owned you are. How they got you super hard now and all your irons just feel down the fire.

Fuck that douche, you should have killed him sooner.

You grab your silver dagger full of makeup and cut the ropes.

VRISKA: WHAT A8OUT ROUND TWO 8ITC-

Aradia raises her hands and locks you in her telekinetic grip.

Fuck! Immunity to mind control AND telekinesis? What are they putting on these lowbloods lately. They used to be all weak and wimpy but she's????????

Fucking amazing?

ARADIA: s0 heres the sc00p  
ARADIA: im n0t gonna kill y0u because 0f-

she makes a vague gesture with her free hand and looks up

ARADIA: s0lidary  
ARADIA: y0u know  
ARADIA: trans rights

You can’t properly speak because of the telekinesis, but you mouth “trans rights”.

ARADIA: but abs0lutely n0 killing my teammate!  
ARADIA: s0 im g0ing t0 release the grip and y0u will be able t0 m0ve and speak  
ARADIA: d0nt try t0 get smart and d0 s0mething funny  
ARADIA: because i already kn0w y0u arent either

You fall to the ground, free. She isn’t even looking to you anymore, either she trusts you or she just doesn’t consider you a threat.

This is humiliating.

You want to rush into her to show how scary you can be so she learns to not underestimate you.

You know what? Fuck it. You do that. 

She snaps her fingers before you can get three feet next to her and you can feel the pull in your foot making you fall.

She gives you a disappointed look.

ARADIA: im disapp0inted

You are also disappointed.

In yourself.

ARADIA: are we d0ne? because i have a pr0p0siti0n

Tavros never stopped speaking, you just really don’t care about what he is saying so you choose to ignore it all.

ARADIA: cl0ud switch  
VRISKA: Cloud switch?

Tavros also repeats “cloud switch?”

ARADIA: yeah  
ARADIA: y0u see, i d0nt think we have much chance in winning this  
ARADIA: n0 0ffense tavr0s  
ARADIA: its just that i actually wanted t0 kn0w what winning feels like f0r 0nce  
ARADIA: playing f0r fun is 0k  
ARADIA: but i want t0 step my game up  
ARADIA: and y0u, little spider  
ARADIA: is my best bet.

Tavros said something but you were too busy blushing to have any idea of what he said.

Fuck yes! 

Wait what about terezi.

GC: Y34H WH4T 4BOUT T3R3Z1 >:/  
AG: I’m sorry Pyrope, 8ut I gotta cloud switch.  
GC: 4ND WHO 4M 1 CLOUD1NG FOR TH3N  
AG: Hm, this dude?  
GC: WH4TS H1S N4M3 THO  
AG: I don’t know! I don’t care about that.  
GC: YOUR M4K1NG M3 CLOUD FOR SOM3ON3 YOU DONT 3V3N C4R3 TO KNOW TH3 N4M3 OF? >:0  
AG: Yeah.

VRISKA: Hey dude, what’s your @.

It tooks a while until you can save his @ because you can’t understand the way he speaks, low and fast like he doesn’t want to be there and also he is ashamed of his choice of @.

ARADIA: just handle y0ur ph0ne t0 him and let him type it 0ut  
VRISKA: To his disgusting, little, 8itch hands?  
VRISKA: No.  
ARADIA: y0urs are still full 0f makeup  
VRISKA: What a8out it?  
ARADIA: 0_0

AG: Here @adiosToreador.  
GC: YOU W1LL OW3 M3 B1G T1M3 S3RK3T  
GC: M4K1NG M3 CLOUD FOR SOM3ON3 YOU CONS1D3R COMPL3T3LY US3L3SS  
GC: UGH  
GC: 1 HOP3 YOU H4V3 FUN W1TH YOUR N3W K1SM3S1S

You blush again and barely even realizes that Aradia is reading your chat.

ARADIA: so i think thats a yes f0r cl0ud switch  
ARADIA: tavr0s, y0u can g0 ahead

He does so. You quickly follow until you feel a grip in your shoulder before you can leave. A tender telekinetic touch telling you not yet.

ARADIA: are y0u g0ing like that?  
ARADIA: really?  
ARADIA: cm0n let me fix y0ur makeup  
VRISKA: We don't have time though!  
VRISKA: We gotta get there soon, else we lose.  
ARADIA: please  
ARADIA: d0nt y0u kn0w the first thing ab0ut battler0yales?  
ARADIA: let the enemies kill themselves first and then kill the last few weak 0nes  
ARADIA: this is like  
ARADIA: battle r0yale 101  
VRISKA: No that’s…

This is weird.

You always knew the best strategy was to kill everyone before they could kill you.

VRISKA: The 8est strategy is to kill everyone 8efore they can kill you.  
ARADIA: i th0ught y0ur teammate was a g00d strategist  
VRISKA: She is.  
ARADIA: and she t0ld y0u that was the best strategy?  
VRISKA: Well when you say it that way.  
VRISKA: She was giggling while I commented on how good of a strategy that was.  
VRISKA: Aw fuck she has 8een messing with me this whole time.  
VRISKA: Fuck you, Pyrope.  
ARADIA: haha  
ARADIA: 0h fuck y0u’re such a ri0t  
ARADIA: hahaha

She spends minutes laughing, you can’t help but stare at her. Her honest smile. The way her voice cracks…

ARADIA: hahaha  
ARADIA: 0h fuck  
ARADIA: cm0n lets fix y0ur makeup  
ARADIA: i d0nt have any cerulean makeup  
ARADIA: y0u d0nt mind the burgundy 0ne d0 y0u  
VRISKA: I mind it a lot actually.  
ARADIA: yeah i didnt th0ught y0u w0uld mind

Despite your commentary you don’t flinch as she starts by removing the makeup stains from your face. She grabs a hair brush and starts working on your hair.

VRISKA: I like it wild actually.  
ARADIA: i kn0w, but we d0nt want hair 0n y0ur face right?  
ARADIA: beating tavr0s was easy, but y0u are actually g0ing t0 fight the big fish n0w and im sure y0ur teammate w0uld be very dissap0inted at me if i let y0u die  
VRISKA: Fair enough.  
ARADIA: n0w stand still while i put 0n y0ur makeup

Unlike Terezi, she doesn't pierce your eye, her hands are calloused and rough, but her touch is soft and tender.

ARADIA: shhhh  
ARADIA: i cant w0rk pr0perly if y0u keep shaking  
ARADIA: and i d0nt want t0 f0rce y0u t0 stand still with telekinesis  
VRISKA: Heh.  
VRISKA: Can't even do a nervous person’s makeup?  
VRISKA: You aren't even that good.  
ARADIA: n0, im n0t  
ARADIA: s0 i need y0u t0 help me here

She stops doing your makeup and just looks deeply at your eyes and hold each side of your head.

You want to run away.

Fuck this is torture

You didn't expected womanhood to come with a side of torture.

ARADIA: vriska  
ARADIA: st0p  
ARADIA: c0ncentrated in my v0ice  
ARADIA: just breathe  
ARADIA: y0u can d0 this  
ARADIA: and bef0re y0u try y0u d0nt need t0 give me snarky resp0nse  
ARADIA: please  
ARADIA: just breathe

You do.

You want to respond and give her a ironic answer, you want to roast her even if her sarcastic game might be overkill for you. You want to do so much, you want to punch her and kiss her and-

But you breathe.

You just breathe.

She finishes your makeup and looks away for you to finally properly put on your Mindfang costume.

ARADIA: it w0uld be c0nvenient if i had a big mirr0r f0r y0u t0 see y0urself  
ARADIA: but i d0nt  
ARADIA: s0 just take my w0rd that y0u l00k g00d  
ARADIA: 0r at least better than y0u used t0

You try to check yourself on the reflection of your phone.

You really do look better.

She knows a lot more of makeup than you, you would ask her for tips if you weren’t yourself.

Instead you will provoke her on the subject and try to take the information from her.

The burgundy makeup makes you feel weird.

Hemospectrum faking is only illegal for lowbloods. A highblood like you wearing lowblood colors is actually considered brave and powerful.

You look at her and at back at your own reflection.

You two look similar, with the same lipstick and the same thick eyeliner.

You take a better moment to look at her.

The description you give of her before was… Unfair.

You can see the things the things in you that are similar, but those only highlight your differences.

Her hair is fluffy and go to all directions while your natural one is much thinner, but in a spiky way and-

ARADIA: we are d0ne here vriska  
ARADIA: haha are y0u d0ing s0me s0rt 0f m0n0l0gue and getting l0st in the sight 0f me?  
ARADIA: y0u are s0 silly  
VRISKA: What!  
VRISKA: No! Fuck that.  
VRISKA: I was calculating your power levels and if you are a fit partner.  
VRISKA: I mean teamm8.  
ARADIA: whether im fitting 0r n0t d0esnt change the fact that we did the cl0ud switch  
ARADIA: n0 refunds  
VRISKA: Same for you.  
ARADIA: 0h i w0uld never regret ch00sing this

You blush and leave, she giggles behind you and you walk faster.

VRISKA: Fuck you, Megido!

Fuck her for being so cool and fuck her for being so direct about everything. Fuck her for being so open and fuck her for making you feel inferior.

ARADIA: haha  
ARADIA: have fun h0ney!

Your Stats Bat tells you where shits poppin as you step outside. Troll northeast. Don’t ask me which direction that is.

Ugh.

That’s next to the sea

If you have to meet him in this session you might as well just die already.

You would also rather die than have to face Aradia ever again too.

Part of you is scared to disappoint her if you lose.

Part of you is scared to see her happiness if you win.

Actually why don’t you add Terezi to this mix and make so you are scared to see all of your friends.

Kanaya too.

AA: vriska  
AA: y0u are m0n0l0ging again

Ugh

Fuck you, Megido.

You step forward into troll northeast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I planned for more to happen on this chapter on this chapter, but it was already so long. See you next week! Comments are appreciated.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of the flarping session is near and Vriska teamed up with Aradia, but old shadows lurk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild misgedering cw.

VRISKA: So you're a tough guy.  
VRISKA: Like it really rough guy.  
VRISKA: Just can't get enough guy.  
VRISKA: Chest always so puffed guy.  
VRISKA: I'm that 8ad type.  
VRISKA: Make your mama sad type.  
VRISKA: Make your girlfriend mad type.  
VRISKA: Might seduce your dad type.  
VRISKA: I'm the 8ad guy, duh.

You slit the throat of your opponent.

VRISKA: I'm the 8ad guy.

You strike a little pose.

AA: haha vriska y0ure 0n a r0ll  
AA: im alm0st charmed by y0ur c0nstant “l00king c00l, singing 0ut l0ud t0 y0ur playlist and 8eating up n00bs game”  
AA: im alm0st surprised  
AA: i didnt expected f0r this beaten up girl that sh0wed up in my d00r t0 actually be g00d at this game  
AG: Ugh, fuck off Megido.  
AG: Anyway, I guess i could say you aren’t completely useless and sometimes you get some nice moves with your clouder skills.  
AG: I would thank you if you weren’t late in that Cast Large Rock spell.  
AG: And the Comically Sised Clock spell.  
AG: And the the Summon Minor Whatever Squirrels in Alternia Are Called spell.  
AA: i t0ld y0u already i was 0ut 0f ap  
AA: i cant just d0 that all the time  
AA: y0u kn0w my main j0b is t0 hinder 0f 0ther players, n0t help y0u right  
AG: Oh yeah, you are always out of Ar8itrary Points.  
AG: TZ always had some to help me out in important situations.  
AG: Which never happened in this session so she never got to help me in any mechanical way 8efore we cloud switched.  
AG: Which kinda makes her looks useless, 8ut i promise she’s not!  
AG: And she definitely helps!  
AA: vriska we have different classes  
AA: st0p pretending y0u d0nt understand the small yet very c0mplex and relevant differences in 0ur classes.

Dice explode and another player is eliminated.

AA: anyway ive been meaning t0 ask y0u  
AA: h0w d0es y0ur little b00m b00m dice w0rk?  
AA: th0se that y0u thr0w and they s0metimes expl0de big and s0metimes small  
AG: PLEASE never call them that again.  
AG: They are exploding dice and they explode, in 8oth senses of the word, that’s it.  
AA: haha i kn0w  
AA: i just wanted t0 tease y0u  
AA: let me f0rmulate my questi0n  
AA: can y0u just h0ld as much as want fr0m them?  
AA: what decides h0w many y0u can h0ld  
AA: as a highbl00d y0u can aff0rd many 0f these  
AA: can y0u just carry a bag full 0f them?  
AA: make a nuke 0ut 0f dice?  
AG: No.  
AG: And I know that 8ecause I already tried.  
AG: I’m gonna spare you the excruciating details and the pages and pages of rules for this skill.  
AG: And just say:  
AG: Something Something ar8itrary limit of dice i can carry 8ased on their type, the higher amount of sides, the more expensive it is to carry one.  
AG: d4s are the most cheap. d20s are the most expensive.  
AG: d4 are also the most likely to go south.  
AG: I’m using a glass cannon 8uild and at all times there are at least 8 different things that could kill me.  
AG: 8ut I’m extremely strong though.  
AA: fr0m the few strats i’ve read 0nly idi0ts used d4  
AA: but there definitely is s0mething very charming ab0ut all th0se risks y0u take  
AA: y0u are still an idi0t th0  
AA: f0r 0ther reas0ns  
AG: I think only an idiot would not only spare an easy kill, 8ut you also cloud switch with her.  
AG: And flirt with her.  
AA: and share the secrets 0f h0w her class w0rk  
AA: i still never g0t as cl0se t0 winning a game bef0re  
AA: and i d0nt think that c0unts as being an idi0t  
AG: I’m starting to think you are using me.  
AG: Should I re8el and kill you?  
AA: i think y0u already tried that and failed  
AA: besides  
AA: d0es it c0unts as using y0u if y0u instantly agreed f0r the plan and are currently carrying it 0ut?  
AG: So I will lose on purpose!  
AG: How would you feel a8out losing after getting so close to victory?  
AG: The perfect revenge.  
AA: will y0u? really?  
AA: will y0u really l0se 0n purp0se?  
AG: Yeah!!!!!!!!  
AA: y0u w0nt  
AA: y0u d0nt want t0  
AG: Of course I want to!  
AA: really?  
AG: Yeah?  
AA: …  
AG: No.  
AG: Ugh, true. I don’t want to.

Aradia uses her clouder skills to stun an enemy player that tried to sneak on Vriska.

AA: y0u sh0uld pay m0re attenti0n t0 y0ur surr0undings little spider  
AA: getting distracted w0nt help y0u win the game

You let out a loud scream and take fetal position.

AG: I want to die.  
AA: y0u will if y0u d0nt beat that 0ther l0ser  
AA: n0 ap f0r this 0ne  
AG: Sighhhhhhhh.

You reach your dice purse and see that you are running out of exploding dice. You could use your Fluorite Octet of course, well, maybe in your final strife. Too good to be used to small fry like those.

Lucky you, regular d4s can be reused, it’s not much glorious to stand down and grab each one them back, but they do they job.

And the job is done. They step on on them and before they can be busy feeling the pain they are too busy being dead by your knife.

AA: g00d j0b!  
AA: arent y0u g0ing t0 pick y0ur dice up?  
AG: I don’t look cool while I do that.  
AG: May8e after I get the Quick Retrieve Dice Skill.  
AA: 0h 0f c0urse  
AA: y0u can just ditch dice like this  
AA: highbl00d prividedges s0unds great  
AG: Sigh.  
AG: Are you really just going to constantly attack my high8lood guilt like that?  
AA: yes  
AA: if y0u d0nt want them i d0  
AG: They are cerulean though.  
AA: what ab0ut it  
AG: Not your color.  
AA: i kn0w they might n0t l00k s0 pretty as burgandy d0es  
AA: but they l00k pretty en0ugh  
AA: i cant keep them as a reminder 0f y0u, little spider  
AG: Sighhhhhhhh.  
AG: You are gonna mess up with me if I don’t right.  
AA: absolutely teehee  
AG: *Rolls all 8 eyes.*  
AG: Alright  
AG: *Sexily 8ends over to pick up die. Sexily 8ends over to pick up die. Sexily 8ends over to-  
AA: fadsadsadasd  
AA: 0h my g0g vriska st0p this!  
AA: i asdasdsdad  
AA: i cant st0p laughing dasdsadsa  
AG: Haha.  
AG: Hahahahaha.

You don’t see her laughing, but by her messages you can say she is having a blast. You laugh and laugh to the point your mouth hurts. Gog you have to tell Terezi this. You can’t wait to-

??????: ahem  
??????: i hope im not interruptin somethin  
??????: you look different mindfang  
??????: i cant believve vvriska wwould be killed and his character stolen by some lowwblood  
??????: ugh this is outrageous  
??????: wwho are you  
??????: and make this good because i cant wwait to see your disgustin red blood on the ground

Fuck.

Great, it’s your kismesis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a short one! Sorry, I promise the next one won't be so brief.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Only Vriska and Eridan are left in this session of FLARP. Chances don't look good for her, but she knows better ways to die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for misgendering and light transphobia.

Yeah.

That’s your very kismesis.

Eridan Ampora in the flesh.

You hoped he would just not happen to be in this game of FLARP. You know he said he would be there and asked if you wanted to cloud for him, but a girl can hope.

You check whatever you have left, few exploding dice and all the d4s, now in the ground after you dropped them in shock from seeing him.

And the Fluorite Octet of course.

Ok, this isn’t so bad. All you have to do is-

ERIDAN: stop comin up wwith an strategy and respond already  
ERIDAN: knowwin you killed my boyfriend and took his character doesnt make me happy  
ERIDAN: so explain yourself before my patience runs dry

Yikes.

For some reason the words boyfriend and his roll into your brain like a rotten meal rolls down your stomach.

Yes. One may choose to take a player they killed character. Eridan must assumes you killed Vriska and took Mindfang’s character. The wig and the red makeup support the argument that you are not in fact Vriska. FLARP has some weird mechanics. Makes a girl wonder who designed it or what even was the experience in mind.

VRISKA: I’m ugh-  
VRISKA: I mean-  
MINDFANG: Ahem.  


(MINDFANG: This color is humiliating.)

AA: n0 its n0t  
AA: but please f0cus 0n the task at hand

MINDFANG: Anyway.  
MINDFANG: I promise there is a very plausi8le explanation to all of this.

You strike a little pose.

MINDFANG: Say.  
MINDFANG: Monologue swap?

Eridan rolls his eyes.

ERIDAN: wwe are the last twwo here anywway  
ERIDAN: wwhy not  
ERIDAN: id rather enjoy killing you

Gog this guy decided he was gonna be a sad anime protagonist and he is committing.

Good thing he completely forgot about killing you quickly and already jumped into monologuing.

“Monologue Swap.” Not to be confused with Cloud Swap (there are a lot of swaps in FLARP.)

When there are only two players left in said session it’s customary for them to do a show. It’s said that all the spirits of the dead players watch those who survive. If you give a good show they will be able to rest and move on into the afterlife. If you don’t they will call you slurs in Chittr.

Eridan is saying something something about revenge for his beloved boyfriend. Fuck those words hurt and you don’t know why, but at least he is occupied and you have time to think your options.

What do you know about Eridan’s character? Well besides his ridiculous exp bonus for being a seadweller, being the very definition of a tank (you used to do a great duo of tank and dps.) Having a rifle that can that can one-hit-kill you, AND being very inspired to do so? Your chances aren’t looking good.

Aw he is expecting your response, you pretend to be scared and say “no no no no no no no no.” behind your breath so he thinks his monologue is working and gives you more time. 

C’mon Serket think! This is the very definition of a situation to use your Fluorite Octet. No point in saving anymore so H8RE IT G8ES!!!

Octuplets dice fly in the air. Cerulean glimmers in the air as Eridan breaks character and his sad boy widow facade.

They roll to the ground and unceremoniously sum a total of the meaningless value of 24.

You know you’ve been building hype for them this whole session, but sometimes the problem with these is that anything can happen.

Anything.

ERIDAN: i wwould be insulted if this wwasnt so funny  
ERIDAN: a free-run-awway card?  
ERIDAN: vvriska wwould havve laughed at that

She absolutely would if she wasn’t so desperate and facing imminent death.

Running away will save your life, but you will lose because of some other bullshit mechanic that everyone too far away from the winning player will take constant damage equal to the size of his bulge or whatever.

AA: d0 y0u have any ideas?  
AA: y0u will die if y0u try t0 fight him  


MINDFANG: Don’t worry.  


MINDFANG: I know 8etter ways to die.  


MINDFANG: AHEM.

You throw all, but one of your exploding dice behind, cool gals don’t look at explosions, or die by taking unnecessary risks.

And you are the coolest gal.

You got his attention.

Time to do your monologue.

ERIDAN: i take that you dont need those  
MINDFANG: Nope!  
MINDFANG: I only need this one.

You reach for your exploding dice pocket and reach for the last one, a gift from Terezi.

ERIDAN: a fuckin coin?  
ERIDAN: that isnt a dice  
MINDFANG: Isn’t it now?  
MINDFANG: Should we start a discussion on the semantics of dice?  
ERIDAN: yeah  
ERIDAN: because its a fuckin coin  
ERIDAN: not a dice

You smirk. He is playing right into your trap.

MINDFANG: Well!  
MINDFANG: It’s a d2.  
MINDFANG: A two sized dice!  
ERIDAN: no its not a dice and i wwill kill you for saying this bullshit  
MINDFANG: You will not 8ecause I’m 8arely started with my monologue.  
ERIDAN: sighhhhhhhh

You take a deep breath and start.

MINDFANG: Fae 8lessing.  
ERIDAN: ugh  
MINDFANG: If my last exploding die explodes it creates two dice instead of one.  
ERIDAN: too bad you dont have a dice  
ERIDAN: you have a stupid coin and it wwill nevver be enough to beat me  
MINDFANG: Really?  
MINDFANG: What a8out this?  
MINDFANG: Titania’s 8lade.  
MINDFANG: Lower value dice get get 8igger 8onuses.  
ERIDAN: if you try to convvince me howw by being a d2 its the lowwest dice possible and you wwill get a huge bonus i wwill flip  
ERIDAN: howw did you evven got it?  
ERIDAN: gamblignants dont get coins  
MINDFANG: Why don’t you ask your 8oy-  
MINDFANG: ...  
MINDFANG: Late cahoots partner.  
MINDFANG: I’m sure they would love to explain it all to you.  
ERIDAN: dont shit on his memory like that  
MINDFANG: Well, 8ut I do shit on their memory like that.  
ERIDAN: this is gettin ridiculous  
ERIDAN: just throww your stupid coin dice already  
MINDFANG: I’m almost done.  
MINDFANG: Puck’s Final Trick.  
MINDFANG: Every time a said opponent refers to a dice by the wrong name I get a 8onus on the roll.  
ERIDAN: i cant believve this bullshit movve evven exists  
ERIDAN: wwho wwas the idiot that made this game  
ERIDAN: wwho cares!  
ERIDAN: so wwhat if its a dice or a coin!  
ERIDAN: you arent killing me wwith this stupid thing!  


MINDFANG: Hahahahahahahaha.  


MINDFANG: Wrong word idiot.  


MINDFANG: It’s not coin.  


MINDFANG: It’s not dice either.  


MINDFANG: You haven’t referred to it 8y the right name a single time.

You flip it.

MINDFANG: The right word is die.

Terezi got it as a Legislacerator bonus, but she didn’t cared about it and thought you would have better use.

An exploding d4 is a fool’s tool.

But an exploding d2?

It’s suicide.

AA: VRISKA ST0P M0N0L0GUING AND GET 0UT 0F THERE ALREADY

You use your free-run-away card and hope it takes you far enough.

Everything flashes white, Eridan tries to shoot you and the die down, but you are already gone.

You are in Aradia’s hive. Still in your epic die flip pose.

Aradia throws herself at you immediately and you are both on the ground.

Before you can say anything the die explodes.

And it explodes over and over and over.

It would be cathartic if you weren’t so sure that that single coin flip will render that land infertile for longer that you will spend on Alternia.

Soon the wind gets there and the windows shatter, Aradia’s telekinesis keep the debris away from you two.

She gets off from your top and you two spend a moment breathing.

ARADIA: hahaha  
VRISKA: Hahahahahaha.

You two laugh and cry.

ARADIA: y0u idi0t!  
ARADIA: y0u really c0uld have died there!  
ARADIA: i was fucking w0rried ab0ut y0u!

Aradia tries to push you and hit your arm in a playful way.

You really can’t stop laughing. You are used to winning, but this time it was just… different?

You won by your own efforts.

And as a girl.

Oh yeah, you wanted to pretend being a girl to be taken seriously, right?

You aren’t sure if this was ever really relevant.

But…

You enjoy being one.

You should message Kanaya later.

ARADIA: ughhhh  
ARADIA: st0p thinking and ap0l0gize already!  
ARADIA: i was really really  
ARADIA: really really really really  
ARADIA: really really w0rried  
ARADIA: i even did y0ur eight thing there!  
VRISKA: Hahaha.  
VRISKA: Fuck, this is just.  
VRISKA: I’m sorry I think I’m still in shock.  
VRISKA: Can I just rest here for a moment.  
VRISKA: Oh.  
VRISKA: I didn’t even realized.

Winner Winner Cluckbeast Dinner shine in bright letters above your head. The spirits are very pleased with your presentation and you will be bringing clout home tonight.

You could really have died there.

You are trying your best not to cry, this was so stressful you need a moment to rest.

Your phone is blowing up with messages. You’re sorry, but you can’t respond to Terezi right now.

Aradia has a pile of bones she uses to rest on when she doesn’t want to dip in the Recuperacoon.

You think about asking where she even got those, but you can barely even speak right now.

…

Ugh.

This is getting repetitive.

Once again you wake up with your phone screaming at you.

Apparently today is International Message Vriska day because wow! Your dms sure are popping.

Messages from Terezi, messages from Tavros (ugh fuck off Pyrope you can’t believe she gave him your handle.) Messages from Karkat, apparently Terezi showed him your show and he messaged you to ramble, ramble and ramble until he told you he thought it was really cool and send to everyone else and oh. That explains why you have messages from fucking everyone.

Eridan send some too. He survived of course and now you have some stuff to explain.

These ones…

There is no icon.

It’s just blank.

Oh wait they say words when you highlight them.

Ugh fuck this. You absolutely don’t have time for this.

You look left and right for Aradia, but she is nowhere to be seen.

You smell something tasty from the kitchen and realize just how hungry you are.

Terezi and Tavros are there too.

VRISKA: Is this supposed to 8e some kind of victory party?  
VRISKA: You know that I win in FLARP all the time.  
VRISKA: This isn’t special.  
ARADIA: well maybe  
ARADIA: id say there is s0mething else t0 celebrate th0ugh!  
VRISKA: Like sleeping in your 8one pile the whole day?  
VRISKA: Hell, I’m not supposed to 8e this tired after a single game.  
VRISKA: Usually I can go all day on underground games without pro8lem.  
TEREZI: SHUT UP VR1SK4 4ND STOP 4VO1D1NG TH3 1SSU3  
TEREZI: TH3 CONGR4TUL4TORY 1SSU3  
TEREZI: TH3 POS1T1V3 1SSU3 W1TH GOOD CONS3QU3NC3S  
TEREZI: TH3 COOL 1SSU3 TH4T 3V3RYBODY L1K3S  
TEREZI: VR1SK4S GOOD 1SSU3  
VRISKA: Which is?  
TEREZI: YOU B31NG G1RLS  
ARADIA: c0ngratulati0n 0n girls!  
VRISKA: Uh-  
TEREZI: B3FOR3 YOU C4N S4Y SOM3 BULLSH1T L1K3  
TEREZI: 1 ONLY D1D TH1S TO B3 T4K3N S3R1OUSLY  
TEREZI: OR TH4T YOU 4R3 ONLY M1N M4X1NG YOUR G3ND3R  
TEREZI: BY T4K1NG V3RY 1LL3G4L 4CT1ONS TH4T COULD 34S1LY K1LL YOU  
TEREZI: 1 KNOW YOU 4R3 4N 1D1OT 4ND 1 KNOW YOU H4V3 4N D34THW1SH  
TEREZI: 4ND 1 KNOW DONT TH1NK OF TH3 CONS3QU3NC3S OF YOUR 4CT1ONS  
TEREZI: NOR TH4T YOU R4R3LY TH1NK 4BOUT HOW YOUR 4CT1ONS 4FF3CT OTH3RS  
VRISKA: Ok, ok!  
VRISKA: Get to the p8int already Pyrope!  
TEREZI: WH4T 1M S4Y1NG 1S  
TEREZI: YOU WOULDNT DO TH1S 1F 1T D1DNT BROUGHT YOU JOY  
TEREZI: YOU C4N R4MBL3 4ND D3NY 1T NOW  
VRISKA: You know what I’m-  
VRISKA: Way too hungry for that.  
VRISKA: What are you cooking Megido.  
ARADIA: is that a trick questi0n?  
ARADIA: 0bvi0usly im c00king the cluckbeast dinner y0u g0t  
ARADIA: its c0nvenient that the winner 0f a battle r0yal match literally gets a cluckbeast  
ARADIA: its terribly c00ked and barely seas0ned th0ugh  
ARADIA: s0 i have t0 actually make it edible  
ARADIA: haha  
ARADIA: n0 0ne is getting tr0ll salm0nella in my kitchen!  
VRISKA: I wouldn't mind getting that if it meant i get to actually eat something.  
VRISKA: I’m so fucking hungry.  
TEREZI: 4ND LOOK1NG L1K3 4 M3SS  
ARADIA: and stinking!

You take your sweet time rolling your eyes.

VRISKA: Cranky 8ecause I got all the clout from that match!  
VRISKA: Oh look at that!  
VRISKA: 8 thousand new followers? Eh, that’s nothing.  
TEREZI: OH Y34H B3C4US3 1 SUR3 LOV3 B31NG FOLLOW3D BY DUMB 1D1OTS TH4T W4NTS TO COPY MY BU1LD  
TEREZI: 3-G1RL BU1LD SLUT VR1SK4  
TEREZI: BUT 1 DO LOV3 LOGG1NG 1N 4T 3PM 4ND S331NG YOU G3TT1NG 4NGRY 4T K1DS C4RTOONS  
VRISKA: I’m telling you Pyrope.  
VRISKA: Troll Catrodora will 8e end game.  
VRISKA: That’s how enemies to lovers goes. You can’t do it if they didn’t even killed each other at least 8 times.  
VRISKA: Now that the olive 8lood cat is the leader of the Scourge she can regret all those times she killed that him8o 8lue 8lood.  
VRISKA: It’s simple storytelling Pyrope.  
TEREZI: WH4T3V3R  
VRISKA: Ugh.  
VRISKA: I’m soooooooo hungry is it done already Megido?  
TEREZI: 4NYW4Y 1M 4LSO R34LLY HUNGRY COOK TH4T TH1NG 4LR34DY M3G1DO  
ARADIA: i d0nt c0ntr0l the c00k  
ARADIA: but yeah  
ARADIA: its d0ne

Aradia sets the the cooked cluckbeast in the table. It’s huge and made to look amazing, but not to taste like such at all. A trick, a deceitful toll of the condesce via avian reward.

Eh who cares, Aradia made it really good.

You dig in and munch with your fangs. Only to be surprised that it’s rather burning in your mouth.

You try to hide your distaste, but-

ARADIA: well well well  
ARADIA: what am i seeing here  
ARADIA: is this perhaps t00 spicy f0r y0u little spider?  
VRISKA: Fuck off, Megido.  
VRISKA: I get it!  
VRISKA: I like seasoned food just like the next 8tich.  
VRISKA: 8ut this is just exaggeration.  
VRISKA: Do you really need all that?  
ARADIA: abs0lutely i d0  
ARADIA: st0p being a highbl00d bitch and eat the spice up vriska  
TEREZI: Y34H STOP B31NG 4 H1GHBLOOD B1TCH 4ND 34T TH3 SP1C3 UP S3RK3T

Tavros repeats it too.

You take a long sigh and eat more.

This isn’t what you expected when you told Terezi you were gender faking. Nor what you expected when you left home late for the game. Nor when you actually beat said game.

It’s weird. Deep down it’s still you. Did something really changed?

This is just very confusing and you don’t have these answers.

But you can enjoy this moment with your best friend, this cool girl you just met and this boy you don’t like.

And life is good the way it is.

You hope this never changes.

…

Hello Vriska.

I already know you will not answer me the moment you receive these messages so save yourself the work of apologizing for taking so long.

I send these on the specific time I knew you wouldn’t answer immediately, but only days later.

Giving you time to prepare for my inevitable forthcoming.

I will be brief.

...

I’m sorry. This was a joke, but seeing you still don’t know me or my reputation (Taylor Swiift, 2017) the antic is somewhat lost on you.  


I won’t.

What I want to say is:

I saw your exploits.

A genderfaking cerulean blood who teams up with another of the former, this one a very gifted burgundy blood into winning a game of FLARP.

Now this is a story you can put in an ominous diary and let a boy dozens sweeps in the future find it and decide to be her.

Where have I heard such tale again?

Still it was a very impressive show of wits and bullshit.

The skills you mentioned in your monologue are…

Rather curious.

Fae Blessing.

Titania’s Blade.

Puck’s Final Trick.

Interesting how all those skills you choose are named after fairies.

I’m well familiar with your desire to be one

In more ways than one.

But there is no point in appealing for your gender insecurities.

The connection the inspirer of your character and ancestor have with fairies will come to light eventually.

So please don’t spend sleepless days crying for the inconsistency of your persona.

It’s only natural that to want to be Mindfang is also to want to be a fairy.

Though i believe you have been blessed with enough word count from me already.

It’s no troll Undertale, but.

I want to play a game, Vriska.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic mostly started when I wanted to write something and came up with this silly idea "Vriska pretends to be a girl so she is taken seriously in FLARP."  
Soon the fic extended itself so much longer than just that idea. I wanted to write some trans aravris because I'm a sucker for that and soon the original premise barely even mattered.  
But...  
I never thought how to end this fic? I have a bunch of ideas that i want to write, extended beyond make her pay and go into SGRUB, but I don't have a coherent plot to connect them all.  
Writing this fic was great. I'm a game dev student and being able to just come up with these mechanics that are dysfunctional on purpose is just? Extremely fun.  
I will probably work more on this fic in the future, but mostly focusing on singular scenes and events disjointed from the rest of the plot. Most of them barely even canon divergent, just focusing on specif things that never were relevant in act 5 (my favorite one).  
Thank you everyone for reading this.  
Glory to Mankind.  
(Yes in hyper fixating on Nier Automata and I might write something inspired on it.)


End file.
